As time goes on, I find that the hellish world that I thought I was in is nothing more than the average life of a teenager. Overly emotional reactions to simple hardships, raging hormones, defiance, and educational slump.

 At first, I thought nothing was going to get better. A heart broken isn’t always necessarily a heart lost. One of my best friends in the world moved away, and I thought it was the end of the world. Everything was over. It was all going to end and I was going to have nothing more than a meager existance dragging me to my death. However, that’s no longer the case. I talk to him every day, and he reminds me that things could be worse. I still try and make his day better as much as he makes my day better.

 As if rewarding me for hardships that I’ve over come, including quitting smoking and not longer holding an interest in alcoholic beverages, I have obtained a new boyfriend. He’s amazing and treats me very well. Our relationship is going great, and my grades are turning around. As soon as all my grades are up, I won’t be grounded, and I will get my freedoms back. Then I can take my kid out to do things, like going on walks, teaching her how to ride two wheels with a little more ease, and going to study at the library when I feel like getting out of the house. Not to mention, being able to be alone with my boyfriend and spending quality time together.

 The hormones, you know, they haven’t been helping much, and I know they’re not going away anytime soon. But as long as everything is balanced out in my mind and I can keep my emotions in check, I don’t think they’ll be too much of a problem. That’s just something every teenager needs to go through.

 Hm… Everything’s turning around. Everything was going darker from last year and now everything is light. Everything is better. And it’s going to continue to get better, and I’ll make it that way. True story. :D

Hmm…. Let’s see… Midterms are this week. Well, at least the math ones are. I just found out that I did devistating on the last quiz. Not exactly something that I wanted to see before a mid term. I mean, hell, seriously. Anything that I could get on this freakin’ mid term couldn’t possibly hurt me. I just don’t want mom to see my grades.

That, and I’m beginning to get extrememly annoyed with some of the “truths” sliding out of the mouth of one of my teachers. I don’t even know what I said, but apparently I either don’t do my work because it’s benieth me, or I don’t do my work because it’s too hard and that I’m trying my hardest to get out of it. Oh, and I’m unoriginal in my ways of trying to get out of it. I don’t have a fuckin’ God complex. I don’t think any work is beneath me, though I sure as hell don’t see it as a goddamned challenge. I have no problems with a challenge, such as those that commonly occur in said unmentioned class. There’s a saying that goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Maybe said unmentioned person should try it. Ugh.

Now that that hell is over, until tomorrow, when I’m stuck there for AN HOUR AND A HALF! Ugh. Someone should just shoot me now. Sometimes I think there’s a secret thrill to be had by how much shit is given to me in that class. Thank God for blogs, right?

Oh, and my college class is proving to be more a pain that I think I know I can deal with. I’m just blowing off steam right now, because I’m trying not to explode. Seriously. I use that word alot. I’m such a teenager. But who gives a fuck, right? It’s not like anyone is going to read this. Especially since it’s about a school that nobody gives a damn about. A school that decided that Spirit Week should be the same week as mid terms so that everyone can be distracted.

I think I’m just going to go back to not giving a fuck any more. That seemed to serve me well last time.

On a lighter note; I made a cake today with my friend, Breena. We put five candles in it. The candles were swirlly blue and it was a chocolate bunt cake with orange colored frosting. It’s pretty intense. :D Thanks Breena. You made my day better! <3

Hmm… So this is my first blog post on tumblr, and I have no idea how this is supposed to work. I need some help, but for some reason, I can’t find who I’m looking for to help me. Maybe I’ll be less naive tomorrow.

 I hate waiting for schoo, but I think that I sersiously hate Mondays even more. I don’t know how long these posts stay on here, but once I do firgure it out, I’ll make sure to post some more interesting shit. Not that anyone will care, but it’s nice to have a site to go on where I can release my anguish through words, and post my poems whereever.

Can’t wait until I understand this better. Until then, choa!

Me